I Feel Beautiful in the Head Today

Took a walk in the woods today. Nothing helps me think better. Of course, the clarity with which I'm thinking while I'm out there, like a high or dream, quickly fades when I come back home. I keep thinking that maybe I should seriously consider being a hermit for a little while, just to see what happens. In any case, here's the general gist of what I was thinking about today. Or at least, it's the best I can do with what I remember.

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I kept thinking that I need to organize my life. Then I sat down by a stream and saw the rocks and pebbles strewn in random places, while the water flowed around them. It dawned on me that people say things like "get real," or "welcome to the real world." Their "real world" is full of grid patterns, straight lines, files, structures and numbers. We need these things to function, and yet the real real world is random, spontaneous and messy. Yet life, like the water, finds a way around everything with great ease. The real world can function, indeed it thrives, without the organization that we seem to need. So perhaps we're actually quite stupid in comparison with the world. I find that quite uplifting and encouraging.

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I think some ideas and feelings are self explanatory, and can't be otherwise defined. Love, anger, hatred, happiness etc. These things require no explanation because they are experienced at a very young age and the adults say to you, "that is anger," or "that is love."

We can give these things characteristics and descriptors, but we cannot truly get at the core definition. However, that sits fine with me. I would rather revel in their magnificence than try to say what they are or what they are for. I'm sure people might be getting tired of my Alan Watts references, but he describes a real philosopher as something of an, "intellectual yokel." Somebody who can't stop gawking at things and at the grandeur of life itself.

Props to the philosopher's who deal with that by defining things, and deciding whether or not that sentence makes sense, or whether or not this concept is logically valid. It's not for me, though. I am content in simply being.

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Existence is playful.

The sight of a bathing bird or a squirrel eating a seed brings delight to my soul. Everything bounces and jitters and makes funny sounds. It all seems so light. The flora around us blooms and explodes. It dangles and sways. It spins and unfolds. It runs on and on in it's own messy, wiggly way.

If you asked me, "What is the nature of our existence?" I might answer by humming a song.

Man, maybe I am going crazy.

The Cosmic To-Do List

A little bit of a supplementary for the last entry. I had a comment from my sister and I was going to quickly answer in the comments section, but I feel as though this warrants some more careful consideration. So, Sarah's original quote was as follows:

"Not out of virtue or duty, but because this is another one of those contradictions. If one accepts and reaches out to people and remain unconcerned about having the same be given back to them, they will begin to feel a welling of happiness within them."

Do you suppose that this feeling of well-being springs from nowhere? Could it be possible that virtue and duty are in our nature and therefore give us feelings of well-being? A thing is best itself when it complies with its own nature. I think the virtue part is necessary, as it saves this magnanimity you speak of from being condescending and self righteous and prideful.
I love that prayer of Francis too (being a Franciscan)... Have you read his Canticle of the Sun? The language or ideas may first offend you but I am sure as you contemplate it you will love it!

Sarah:

I absolutely agree with you. Virtue and duty are very real and important things, but in being virtuous for the purpose of being a virtuous person I believe there is a danger of not just, as you say, being self-righteous but also of forgetting our nature. Similarly, doing things merely because they are your duty can lead to grudges and dissatisfaction. Putting names on positive qualities gives them a strict definition, which is good in many ways, but also makes them easier to corrupt and even easier to lose sight of what they really are. It's difficult for me to make sense of all this, because defining the attributes is a tricky and dangerous thing.

Virtue is close to the idea I'm trying to convey, but I feel like this nature is sort of inexplicable and even if I could explain it, then I would end up trying to pursue this explanation instead of the real thing. The closest thing I can say is that there are just Things You Do and Ways You Think that are either a part of your nature and therefore good for you (producing nice things like peace, happiness, satisfaction etc.) or they are contrary to it and will twist you in bad ways. It is my conviction that it is in our nature to be kind.

However, now arises the argument that we are all different emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Why on earth would our natures all be the same?

While it's true that there are no two people exactly the same, we all (typically) have bodies that function in the same. Our hearts pump blood through our bodies, our lungs take in oxygen, our livers cleanse our bodies of toxins. When one of these things stops working, we get sick and die.

I believe we are all different and that being different from each other is (sometimes) what makes this an interesting and beautiful world to live in (RAINBOWSBUNNIESSUNSHINELOVEPEACEHAPPINESS whew, I had to get that out of my system). However, much like the human body and it's organs I think we all have an underlying nature or "spiritual organs" if you will.

So there it is. I think.
I wrestled for a long time over how to end this entry but came up with nothing. Be well.

Story Time Boys and Girls!

As he walked down the path, thinking about this and that, he came across a lizard.

"Hello, there." He said, "Who are you?"

"A lizard, obviously." It replied, sounding offended.

Flummoxed by this answer, he asked, "What, then, is it that makes you a lizard?"

"I do!" It shouted, then skittered away under a rock.

He continued to walk until he found he had become tired and came across a magnificent tree. A great weeping willow. The curtain of tiny leaves created a canopy for him as he rested under the tree.

"Hullo!" said one of the tiny leaves.

"Hello, there. Who are you?"

The leaf replied with warmth and energetic kindness, "I am this tree!"

Hearing that, he laughed himself to sleep.